It is hard to be writing about my life. Not because I am ashamed about it but because it brings up a lot of emotions that I have become so good at shoving deep in the back of my mind. Even at 22, married with two kids of my own I still feel the sting of abandonment. Unfortunately time does not heal all wounds. Some are only healed by prayer and acknowledgement and the hardest for me so far acceptance.
While I don't feel a great urge to share my story I feel the need to at least get it out of me. To stop holding it in as if it will go away. I definitely do not want this to become a "pity party."  Having been abused I hate it when people use their past to manipulate others into pitying them. I want to be a survivor not a victim. But I'm still struggling with how open I need to be, how much detail to share.  
I got a little ahead of myself at the last "My Story" post. There are almost six years in between the time I was born to the time I met, or rather re-met my dad. In that time we stayed in Santa Rosa while my mom went to school to get her Bachelors in nursing. It's strange I know that my grandma Jeannine must have been around but I don't really remember her. I do remember my Papa Troy and Grammy Loretta being a huge part of my life. I should clarify. My Grandma Jeannine is my mother's mother and my Papa Troy is my mother's father. Grammy is technically my step-grandma but I love her all the same...
I remember going to Covenant Christian Church and later their private school. I remember my mom having a couple boyfriends. One of them we both became quite attached to. I thought they were close to an engagement of some sort. But it didn't work out for whatever reason. It was hard for my mom but also hard for me. He was great. he taught me to tie my shoe laces and even came with Mom and I on my first day of school. I wonder sometimes whatever happened to him. When we went to his house, to pick up some last personal items I'm assuming, I saw he and a woman walking into his apartment together. Even at 5 I knew what was going on. He had found someone better. He didn't want us anymore. Maybe he wasn't all that great. A year passed and my mom received a call from my dad. He said he wanted to "get to know me." My dad had been married, had a son and divorced in the time he was away. Wow! This was everything I had ever wanted! My real dad coming into my life and not only that but I now had a brother too. They came up to Santa Rosa for a visit and sparks flew between my parents...again. I have just come to the point of acceptance, I will never understand them but who does understand their parents? lol
Anyways, duty calls in the form of a cry telling me that someone is awake and ready for milk. Hopefully I'll get back today. If not happy reading.

Until next time Readers